Discouraged

In my effort to resurrect the blog and post regularly, I have been a lot less prolific than I had originally anticipated. At the moment I have 12 drafts, all at different stages of completion. Except lately I’ve been discouraged, and not in the “my writing makes me so insecure” way.

I’ve been making an effort to read more women of color, particularly WOC perspectives on feminism. I am in “shutup and listen” mode at the moment. I’m trying to learn, but I feel like the little progress I’m making is dwarfed by my overall ignorance. For instance, I came across a post at Brownfemipower in which she says:

White feminists insistence on positioning women of color as helpless victims or as invisible has very real world implications that result in violence both here and abroad.

And horrified thoughts of “Is that what I did in my last blog entry???”

I know I have this problem where I feel like I deserve a pat on the back for trying to work out my racism or trying to become aware of certain issues. Yeah, this is something I need to get rid of, I don’t really think men who treat women like human beings deserve pats on the back or anything. I know I’m not an incredible paragon of feminist perfection, but I think I’m pretty good at being aware of the things women face around the world. I have learned where one of my major blind spots is, becoming increasingly aware over the past few months that mainstream feminism works from a very narrow perspective - that of a white middle to upper class one.

So I guess the trouble lies in the issues that I thought I was pretty good about being aware of, and then realizing that maybe I’m still not approaching this in a proper way. It makes me feel paralyzed. Even in areas where I think I am “progressive” or aware, I may be displaying glaring ignorance.

As well, today I began to wonder about the idea of being quiet and listening. I understand the importance of this. I’m just not sure when I’ll be ready or if it is even appropriate to engage the things I read in a critical fashion. For instance, the first book I chose to read by a woman of color on feminism was Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism by bell hooks (review forthcoming). BFP makes the point that often white feminists don’t go past bell hooks and Audre Lorde when there is a whole body of work that both builds on and critiques their theories.

So I guess I’m trying to figure out how I am going to be able to pick out and discern theories that have truth to them versus theories that don’t. Or by looking to approach things in the future in that manner, am I going about it in the absolute wrong way? Is it a matter that I can’t and shouldn’t try to engage theories in a critical manner that have been built on experiences I will never have?

And yeah… maybe I’m just making this all about me now. Perhaps I am just asking the wrong questions. I have no clue.

BTW - here is the post I was referring to at BFP (replace x with h)

xttp://brownfemipower.com/?p=1059

Posted in Feminism, Racism | 6 Comments »