Comments on: Warning: Intense Navel Gazing Ahead http://www.gwytherinn.com/2008/02/13/warning-intense-navel-gazing-ahead/ It is no measure of health to be well adjusted in a profoundly sick society. - Jiddu Krishnamurti Wed, 16 Feb 2011 09:36:56 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1 By: Tiv http://www.gwytherinn.com/2008/02/13/warning-intense-navel-gazing-ahead/comment-page-1/#comment-64 Tiv Fri, 22 Feb 2008 21:50:31 +0000 http://www.gwytherinn.com/2008/02/13/warning-intense-navel-gazing-ahead/#comment-64 I'll try not to be soapbox-y...cognitive therapy is the term for teaching someone how to re-frame the way they see the world. But not in a cultlike way. The example I use most often: A car pulls in front of me in traffic. Before therapy(truncated for space): I can't believe that guy just cut me off! Who does he think he is?!? He thinks he can do that because I'm a woman? Because I'm fat and ugly? I can't believe he did that! God, EVERYONE takes advantage of me. Why do I even bother? Now: Wow, I'm glad I wasn't tailgating. That could have been ugly. Because...maybe he is a jerk. Or maybe he didn't see my car. Or maybe he's in a hurry and thought he should risk it. But him pulling in front of me doesn't have any real effect on the rest of my day. I’ll try not to be soapbox-y…cognitive therapy is the term for teaching someone how to re-frame the way they see the world. But not in a cultlike way. The example I use most often:
A car pulls in front of me in traffic.

Before therapy(truncated for space):
I can’t believe that guy just cut me off! Who does he think he is?!? He thinks he can do that because I’m a woman? Because I’m fat and ugly? I can’t believe he did that! God, EVERYONE takes advantage of me. Why do I even bother?

Now:
Wow, I’m glad I wasn’t tailgating. That could have been ugly.

Because…maybe he is a jerk. Or maybe he didn’t see my car. Or maybe he’s in a hurry and thought he should risk it. But him pulling in front of me doesn’t have any real effect on the rest of my day.

]]> By: Gwytherinn http://www.gwytherinn.com/2008/02/13/warning-intense-navel-gazing-ahead/comment-page-1/#comment-63 Gwytherinn Thu, 21 Feb 2008 14:19:54 +0000 http://www.gwytherinn.com/2008/02/13/warning-intense-navel-gazing-ahead/#comment-63 I agree with you, I just wish I could get the two "parts" of me to line up, if that makes any sense. Intellectually, I look at the Peace Corp and see it as an opportunity that seems to have no equivalent in terms of experience gained. There is another part of me that does not want to go at all, and there will be acute anxiety and wanting to get out of it and it will generally make me very uncomfortable. And I just wish I didn't have to deal with some of that anxiety - some is certainly normal... But I think a lot of it is over the top. I looked up cognitive dissonance... (I have no idea where I got that from, since I just realized you said cognitive therapy here and not dissonance - are the two connected?) From what I can understand of it, it makes a lot of sense and I see why I can be dimly aware of the way my anxiety can affect my every day life when I'm in the moment, but not SO aware as to actively take it head on or acknowledge it as a factor in my life. If that makes any sense. I think I'll have to resarch this whole thing more. I agree with you, I just wish I could get the two “parts” of me to line up, if that makes any sense. Intellectually, I look at the Peace Corp and see it as an opportunity that seems to have no equivalent in terms of experience gained. There is another part of me that does not want to go at all, and there will be acute anxiety and wanting to get out of it and it will generally make me very uncomfortable. And I just wish I didn’t have to deal with some of that anxiety – some is certainly normal… But I think a lot of it is over the top.

I looked up cognitive dissonance… (I have no idea where I got that from, since I just realized you said cognitive therapy here and not dissonance – are the two connected?) From what I can understand of it, it makes a lot of sense and I see why I can be dimly aware of the way my anxiety can affect my every day life when I’m in the moment, but not SO aware as to actively take it head on or acknowledge it as a factor in my life. If that makes any sense. I think I’ll have to resarch this whole thing more.

]]> By: Tiv http://www.gwytherinn.com/2008/02/13/warning-intense-navel-gazing-ahead/comment-page-1/#comment-62 Tiv Tue, 19 Feb 2008 01:07:02 +0000 http://www.gwytherinn.com/2008/02/13/warning-intense-navel-gazing-ahead/#comment-62 "I’d love to be one of those people who will pack up and do these kinds of things with an open mindedness, determination and mettle that I just don’t seem to have." Why? Honestly, truly, why? There's nothing wrong or terrible about a person who examines options on multiple levels and makes good decisions. There are, though, alternatives to living life with an overarching anxiety. Not medication, that's not what I'm saying (though I am a fan and product of cognitive therapy). And I know what it's like to feel as if there's no momentum and nothing will ever get done...but I also know how powerful it feels to just fucking DO IT. I hated that Nike campaign because I didn't understand it...but I do now. There's a point where you just DO it. You pack up and move and maybe you fail, but the people who love you will always love you. And there's a chance you'll succeed and be happy. But if you don't succeed and you aren't happy, there's something else you can do. And something else after that. And maybe it takes 10 years to find the place and space that lets you say, "Yes. This is what I've been looking for," but those 10 years taught you things about yourself. “I’d love to be one of those people who will pack up and do these kinds of things with an open mindedness, determination and mettle that I just don’t seem to have.”

Why?

Honestly, truly, why? There’s nothing wrong or terrible about a person who examines options on multiple levels and makes good decisions.

There are, though, alternatives to living life with an overarching anxiety. Not medication, that’s not what I’m saying (though I am a fan and product of cognitive therapy). And I know what it’s like to feel as if there’s no momentum and nothing will ever get done…but I also know how powerful it feels to just fucking DO IT. I hated that Nike campaign because I didn’t understand it…but I do now. There’s a point where you just DO it. You pack up and move and maybe you fail, but the people who love you will always love you. And there’s a chance you’ll succeed and be happy. But if you don’t succeed and you aren’t happy, there’s something else you can do. And something else after that. And maybe it takes 10 years to find the place and space that lets you say, “Yes. This is what I’ve been looking for,” but those 10 years taught you things about yourself.

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