gwytherinn.com

Approaches I’ve employed, though I endorse neither, and I respect your right to rant and not seek solutions (so don’t read further if you didn’t want that!).

–That “piece of ass” stuff comes up, then so does a discussion on the “shortcomings” of men.

–The guild employs a policy: If you wouldn’t say it with an 8-year-old in the room, then you don’t say it in /guild or /raid. One guild I was with for a bit had that policy. Each class had its own channel, and the behavior there was moderated by the class lead (which meant the all-male mage channel was a little different from the all-female-but-one ‘lock channel). For all its faults, I did see that guild kick people out who couldn’t abide by the 8-year-old rule.

–When I’m told I’m too sensitive: “I think you’re being too insensitive.” And then, “Would you say that if your sister/daughter/girlfriend had been raped?”

Be fair, though.
“I’m sick of the way men can disengage from conversations that challenge their line of thinking and may just force them to see outside their own fucking bubble.”

That’s not gender-specific. That’s mindset-specific. A segment of the population ALWAYS believes they are right 100% of the time, and if you don’t agree, you’re WRONG. C WUT I DID THAR? (Man, I’ve been dying to use that somewhere!) Challenged your line of thinking. I believe there are open-minded men, who are willing to listen and engage in debate (where’s red?).

Not that I’m suggesting everyone in the guild is of a certain age, but….
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/

“And in particular, with emotional information, the teenager’s brain may be responding with more of a gut reaction than an executive or more thinking kind of response. And if that’s the case, then one of the things that you expect is that you’ll have more of an impulsive behavioral response, instead of a necessarily thoughtful or measured kind of response.”

An excuse? Nope, I’m not trying to give people an out. As a person trying to exist a world that just doesn’t fit me sometimes, I like to know the answers to “why” questions. “Why would he say that, and be a total jackass, when clearly I’m upset?” “Oh, because his brain isn’t developed, and he’s going to go for a gut reaction instead of a measured, logical one. I’ll rethink my approach, and use an argument he’ll be more likely to understand!”

Which doesn’t always FEEL nearly as good as yelling, “You insensitive, ignorant, moronic jackass!” That’s why we have journals, blogs, and friends to rant to! And, it’s an alternative, not an answer. If you don’t want to explain in a way that works for him (or her, or that person over there), you’re under absolutely no obligation to do so.

Oh, and, people are generally stupid.

I had to reregister, I TOLD you my login wasn’t working right… :/

You know how I feel on this one, there’s no excuse for that kind of behavior. Though, like Tiv says, there may be explanations for it. I’m sory to say, it’s going to take a HUGE fucking change in how our western society raises our boys before we see a significant change.

I’ve been trying my hardest. With my middle school kids, I’m seeing the attitudes and hard-wired misogyny setting in already. These kids are just hitting puberty, and we have the classic model of most of the gils being taller and more developed than the girls. The boys don’t know how to handle it. Coming from largely uneducated backgrounds, where their primary cultural influences are urban/inner city and central American, respect for women’s intelligence and right to the same respect as strong male figures isn’t a strong factor in their development. I’ve heard plenty of mumbling and inappropriate comments about certain female teachers too, particularly one fairly busty ESL teacher who has a lower back tattoo.

There’s that funny line where older women are respected in the whole mother figure role, or at least feared and then made fun of behind their backs. But young female teachers in my school just get flat out disrespected and ignored quite a bit by the older boys. Meanwhile someone like me, who has little to no authoritative presence compared to some of these women who’ve been teaching longer than me, just by being male, can get them more in line.

I come down hardest on kids for using any kind of misogynist or homophobic language than I do for the occasional f-bomb or shit. Trying to stamp that out is at least as big of a goal as having these kids advance on these culturally biased No Child Left Behind mandated tests (other rant, when I get time to post something).