As usual, you are right on the money. It’s just sometimes (ok, a lot actually) I’m sitting there nodding along to some white person’s response to a person of color, “hey, that sounds pretty reasonable, I agree” and the the person of color will turn around and smack them down with a counter argument that I never would have even come to on my own. And it’s like, “wow, I didn’t see anything wrong with that, which shows just how damn little I know.” Ok… I am gradually learning to pick things out, and recognize some of the nasty shit that can masquerade as benign. So I do see progress. But it’s been slow.

As well, I’ve been trying to figure out where the line between “relating with someone’s experiences by interjecting your own” and “making it all about me” is. If you ever think I’m doing the latter instead of the former, please feel free to smack me down. ;x

Aiieee, the paralysis of knowing you don’t know! Actually, it’s a sign that your intelligence level is significantly above the American average. Embrace it. You know there’s more out there than you can possibly imagine–a concept most people don’t get to wrestle with. Follow what interests you and inspires you. Perhaps you don’t know everything there is to know about women of color and feminism. I’d say you don’t know everything about Southern culture and feminism, or Hispanic feminists, or Middle Eastern feminist issues, or…you see where I’m going, right? You’ll never know everything.

I suspect if you approach topics with sensitivity and genuine curiousity, you’ll be rewarded. And if someone doesn’t appreciate that you’re making an effort to learn, fuck ‘em. Go elsewhere. (That’s a personal thing. I don’t laugh at people trying to use the best English they know to talk to me; I encourage them. My co-workers don’t tell me to STFU when I ask what weapon an RG-65A is; they help me find out.)

If someone wanted to know about what it’s like to be a white feminist living in an urban/suburban setting, what would be the “proper way” to approach you, and ask about your experiences? Go at what YOU want to learn with that mindset.

I think too often, people are afraid to say things like, “I’m new to this, but would like to learn more.”

I’ve learned a lot from the links on this site, by the way. Thank you for that. There’s so much there, and I’m new to a lot of it, but it’s interesting to get new perspectives and ideas. They don’t all mesh with my life or my beliefs or my views, but they don’t have to.

And sorry for sounding like a Life Coach On A Bravo Reality Televison Show. I hate those people.