Archive for January, 2008
This entry has been edited to death over the past few weeks, so I figure at this point I’m going to just post it and be damned.
I’ve been making an effort to broaden my reading in terms of feminism, and I’m trying to introduce a steady stream of works by women of color. I started with Ain’t I a Woman: black women and feminism by bell hooks. I feel like the book has planted a seed. Some of the things she wrote about have given me pause to stop and think, but it has been difficult to absorb it all. I think I’m going to have to go back and reread some parts to really do it justice.
I’m sad to say that because I didn’t jot things down during the moments of saying “that’s so incredible!!!” this review may be a little dry. I am having trouble remembering some of the specific things that really clicked for me, so this is basically just summarizing some of what she addresses. (And I’ve learned from my mistake as I’ve been jotting things down every time I read something amazing in my current book.)
The book discusses the the black “matriarch,” that black women are strong, domineering, and in control of their families. The idea is that this supposed position that they hold emasculates black men and makes the traditional nuclear family structure impossible in the black community. This seems to be a pretty common assertion in the media and I had embraced unquestioningly, having never stopped to think about the truth of the matter or just how racist and misogynist it is. hooks debunks the idea of the matriarch and demonstrates how white patriarchal concepts of masculinity are projected onto black men. At the same time, I was really kind of floored at the way perceptions can take root when you don’t have a clue. While rationally I can see what she is saying, I kept thinking but it’s true!!! I think she also did a great job of tying in how black women were treated and conceptualized during slavery and how those attitudes have persisted.
hooks also points out the drastic ways that black women’s experiences have differed from white women’s. For instance, while white feminists were working to liberate women and felt the key to this was integration into the workforce, they were neglecting the fact that black women had been working outside the home for decades. Through this, she illustrates that the feminist movement did not take women of color into account at all, but rather only built on and considered the experiences of white middle to upper class women.
She writes of the racism of the white suffragists and the misogyny of the male leaders of the civil rights movement. Reading some of those things was pretty cringe inducing. Not only did the suffragists express racist ideas, but also they actively kept women of color feminists from participating in the movement. Hell, I don’t remember if she speculated or if this was fact but the white suffragists didn’t want the vote for all women, they were just miffed that black men, former slaves got it before them (by law, anyway). And while they were reacting to the idea that their place in the hierarchy was upset, black men in the civil rights movement were trying to push black women into white patriarchy’s ideal of woman-hood in an effort to claim some semblance of power.
I really like the way she discusses language – that when scholars are talking of “women” and “blacks” they are typically talking about white women and black men. So when people like, say, Betty Friedan spoke of “women” in the Feminine Mystique she was speaking for all women when only white women were facing the problems she describes. This writes out women of color who did not have those experiences and allows us to ignore the issues they face. From what I gather, this has been one of the major failures of the feminist movement.
It seems to me that this is one of the more basic books on women of color and feminism, in that it makes a good entry point. Despite that, it does make things considerably more complex and I know that I’d probably benefit from both rereading it and reading related texts.
Posted in Books | 1 Comment »
I’ve got a job interview with a human rights organization. It’s a data entry job, but it is pointed in the right direction.
Got the call today and jumped at the “202″ area code. I thought the person had asked for “Irene” and let the person go with what may have been slight annoyance at it not being a call in response to my resume. Luckily he called back and I’m REALLY happy that rather than cut the call short with another “wrong number” I asked him if the person he was looking for lives in nassau or suffolk, as maybe he had the wrong area code! It came out that it was for a job interview. JOB interview?
Tuesday interview. This has motivated me to try to submit my resume to more places tomorrow.
Went to an Ani DiFranco concert Thursday. More tomorrow.
Posted in General | 18 Comments »
As some of you who read this blog already know, I’ve been pulling my hair out and worrying to bits about finding a new job now that I’ve graduated. It probably doesn’t help that I feel like I need to get out of my current job as bookselling plebe ASAP or I’ll be stuck there forever.
Today is designated “job hunting” day, since I did absolutely nothing productive with my weekend. Well, ok, I read 35 pages of Andrea Smith’s incredible book Conquest (by now I should be done with it already) and read some really incredible blog posts resulting from the current “Yes Means Yes” controversy in the feminist blogosphere. Post on that forthcoming.
So… what I don’t want, I am aware of.
This would be anything related to things like web design and development and outreach (Otherwise known as the dreadful fundraising and schmoozing department). Unfortunately, the strengths in my resume largely point to WEB DESIGN and technology related pursuits. I don’t doubt that it’s what got me my Human Rights Watch internship. (But hey, how can I complain, right?)
I’ve been reading a lot of ideas by people who seem to be saying that the reason nothing is changing is because we’re looking to gain power in the same system that is disenfranchising so many, as opposed to changing the system altogether.
I’ve felt that international development in the form of the World Bank, IMF and WTO is nothing more than neocolonialism, a scheme that speaks of “liberating” the poor while taking resources that are rightfully theirs for the purpose of providing amenities to a privileged few. This is what really gets me passionate.
So I’ll admit that in looking through the job listings at idealist.org, I can’t help but gag at the numerous listings that speak of “using markets for change,” encouraging “entrepreneurial spirit”, and garnering “investment portfolios for development.”
At the same time, that’s some incredibly fucked up shit. I’m sitting in a nice, warm house with enough food to eat and a supportive family. So where does my resistance of the status quo fit in when people are still living in poverty and dying around the world for a countless number of reasons that may be alleviated by these programs? I can refuse to take jobs based on the fact that I think they’ll be furthering capitalism, which I feel is an inherently oppressive system. But that doesn’t exactly help anyone either. And let me be clear that I don’t know the intentions or rates of success of these organizations in the way that I feel that the development schemes of the World Bank/IMF/WTO are largely detrimental and do much more harm than good.
As well, I’ll admit that as I continue to look at practical matters, I don’t want to have to watch every dime I spend the way I do now. I would like to be somewhat comfortable. (In which a little voice chimes in, if others aren’t comfortable then where is your right to be?) And again, stemming from the “Yes Means Yes” controversy, I came across a comment by Theriomorph that really struck a chord with me in light of what I’ve been thinking about:
I make choices to be sure the work I do for social justice is not *dictated* by my basic financial needs, because history shows me this is an ethical dead end. If my personal success and survival is contingent on appeasing and collaborating with the existing power structure, I will have to appease and collaborate. I make active choices, as we all do, about how I engage, what tools I choose to use, and how I use them. (Full comment here)
Perhaps I am making this much more complicated than it really is. I simply want to work against the neocolonialist policies of institutions like the World Bank and the IMF. I KNOW what I want to do, so you’d think half the battle is over. Now the “simple” task of finding the job that allows me to do that kind of thing.
Posted in General | 3 Comments »
No editing.
Saturday, January 12th, 2008
Yeah. There’s a contingent of people who might not “get” this. Anyone who doesn’t game probably won’t. I’m just going to spit this out unedited, because I edit all my shit to death before it goes up and I’m kind of tired of doing that when I just need to vent.
I’m sick of the privilege. I’m sick of the way men can disengage from conversations that challenge their line of thinking and may just force them to see outside their own fucking bubble. Really, it enrages me. A few people have left our guild, but a small reason cited was that they didn’t like me – because I call them out on their misogynist shit. Yeah, I’ve had my share of being called sensitive in a number of different ways in the past year or so and I’m entirely sick of it. I don’t care if people think I’m sensitive when I can.not.stand hearing the word “rape” dropped all the time as the word of choice for having been blitzed in a battleground. I don’t care if people think that I’m just being too fucking sensitive when I DON’T want to hear shit like “this boss is going to go down like a hooker on mardi gras”, “hold on while I slap Biel’s head under the table”, or the women that you’ve been lucky enough to have sex with be referred to as “pieces of ass.”
Spend a day being a “hooker” and get back to me when you find you can’t joke about the fucking nightmare that it can be. Get back to me when you’ve been reduced to sexual services and parts, or when you’ve been the victim of a violent sexual assault. Get back to me when YOU’VE BEEN RAPED. But hey, since we’re men who don’t generally have to worry about/deal with/think about this shit in any way because it doesn’t effect us, it’s lolfunny and NOT A BIG DEAL!!!!!! And if someone challenges me on it, let’s be defensive about it and remove myself from the situation rather than think about it in any way, shape, or form that is empathetic!!!!
I resent that anyone feels they have the right to this, that they don’t have to consider what they say and the way it can effect others. YOUR WORDS DO NOT EXIST IN A VACUUM. How in the fucking hell is anybody that fucked up that they feel they don’t have to monitor the misogynist shit that spews out of their mouths? Oh, wait, I know – when you don’t consider women to be HUMAN BEINGS.
And ok. I’m trying to turn this perspective around. In the same way I constantly see men turn their backs on these conversations, and be able to deny their complicity, their lack of awareness, their privilege, in the same way they can just shut down any sort of dialog, white feminists do the same when women of color engage them. And I can’t imagine the rage, when someone claims to fight for you and then they turn their backs when you try to point out the ways that they’re racist/exclusive etc. etc. Just as men have the privilege to shut out certain elements of conversation, unfortunately we as white women have the ability to do the same, and obviously we have. For decades.
I feel kind of better since I vented. I had a more thoughtful post (read: trying not to be angry) about language in gaming in the works. Maybe one of these days it will see the light of day.
Posted in Misogyny | 4 Comments »
I’ve barely been following the elections or researching the candidates because I feel that none of them are going to offer anything in the way of real change. It’s particularly saddening considering that we have the potential to elect the first black (man) or (white) woman president.
According to talk around the dinner table, the latest tawdry gossip (compliments of conservative talk radio) is that the Clinton campaign will have a “bomb to drop about Obama.” For me, the dynamics of this election have brought the stark reality of our political system, hell, the way things work on a larger level even, to light. Things are getting ugly. There’s no building of alliances, no effort to see eye to eye or keep the peace.
A black man and a white woman (Both are classically used to represent black people and women as a whole – bell hooks has a lot to say about the sexism and racism of that in Ain’t I a Woman.) are pitted against each other in typical divide and conquer fashion. Whether it’s just being played up by the media or it’s truth, what seems to be an escalating animosity between them pains me.
And yeah… I’ll admit that I am happy Clinton won New Hampshire tonight. Although I know that ultimately I could never vote for her in the primary, (as a lesser of two evils I would) I didn’t want to see her defeated so quickly. People are all too gleeful at the prospect of her loss and it really does get on my nerves. As well, I guess I want to hold on to the idea of a woman president for just a little longer. I don’t want her to win, but dammit, I don’t want her to lose either!
I’m having trouble fleshing out the divide and conquer point and how this connects to other events historically.
Posted in Politics | No Comments »
Blogkeeping
Tuesday, January 8th, 2008
I’m not so good at this color thing…. and I really love the maroon red/black combo, which presents very limited options. Apologies if I’m killing anyone with ugliness as I experiment and try to figure out a look.
I added the “Currently Reading” space today and hadn’t anticipated it being so roomy…. At first it seemed kind of cool to put in a little publisher’s blurb about the book, but I’m thinking maybe it’s a bit cheesy now. Not sure what I’ll do with that. As well, it makes everything load noticeably slower… so maybe it’s not even worth it. But on the plus side I learned a bit of very cool CSS and PHP while playing around with the code and implementing it.
Edit: I think I’ve decided to change the publisher’s blurb to a personal impression.
Posted in Aside | No Comments »
“On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”
Monday, January 7th, 2008
“I think my eyes were knocked open and they don’t close. I sometimes wish I could close them and look away…. But once you’ve seen certain things, you can’t un-see them, and seeing nothing at all is as political an act as seeing something.”
“Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.”
- Arundhati Roy
Posted in Quoted | No Comments »
Discouraged
Friday, January 4th, 2008
In my effort to resurrect the blog and post regularly, I have been a lot less prolific than I had originally anticipated. At the moment I have 12 drafts, all at different stages of completion. Except lately I’ve been discouraged, and not in the “my writing makes me so insecure” way.
I’ve been making an effort to read more women of color, particularly WOC perspectives on feminism. I am in “shutup and listen” mode at the moment. I’m trying to learn, but I feel like the little progress I’m making is dwarfed by my overall ignorance. For instance, I came across a post at Brownfemipower in which she says:
White feminists insistence on positioning women of color as helpless victims or as invisible has very real world implications that result in violence both here and abroad.
And horrified thoughts of “Is that what I did in my last blog entry???”
I know I have this problem where I feel like I deserve a pat on the back for trying to work out my racism or trying to become aware of certain issues. Yeah, this is something I need to get rid of, I don’t really think men who treat women like human beings deserve pats on the back or anything. I know I’m not an incredible paragon of feminist perfection, but I think I’m pretty good at being aware of the things women face around the world. I have learned where one of my major blind spots is, becoming increasingly aware over the past few months that mainstream feminism works from a very narrow perspective – that of a white middle to upper class one.
So I guess the trouble lies in the issues that I thought I was pretty good about being aware of, and then realizing that maybe I’m still not approaching this in a proper way. It makes me feel paralyzed. Even in areas where I think I am “progressive” or aware, I may be displaying glaring ignorance.
As well, today I began to wonder about the idea of being quiet and listening. I understand the importance of this. I’m just not sure when I’ll be ready or if it is even appropriate to engage the things I read in a critical fashion. For instance, the first book I chose to read by a woman of color on feminism was Ain’t I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism by bell hooks (review forthcoming). BFP makes the point that often white feminists don’t go past bell hooks and Audre Lorde when there is a whole body of work that both builds on and critiques their theories.
So I guess I’m trying to figure out how I am going to be able to pick out and discern theories that have truth to them versus theories that don’t. Or by looking to approach things in the future in that manner, am I going about it in the absolute wrong way? Is it a matter that I can’t and shouldn’t try to engage theories in a critical manner that have been built on experiences I will never have?
And yeah… maybe I’m just making this all about me now. Perhaps I am just asking the wrong questions. I have no clue.
BTW – here is the post I was referring to at BFP (replace x with h)
xttp://brownfemipower.com/?p=1059
Posted in Feminism, Racism | 6 Comments »
